I Slept Over

I had a fourth date with that guy. And I slept over. And it felt good. And my friends, excited, screamed a fourth date?!

It seems like so little, but also like so much. When you're single for ever and you're scared and inside your head way too much. Just trying to take things as they come, one step at a time.

We have a tentative fifth date. He even asked me to the Opera. Remember when Julia Roberts was taken to the Opera in Pretty Woman? I do. And like she says at the end of the movie, "I want the fairytale."

But this fairytale doesn't look like I thought it would look like. And another friend said that that's probably a good thing, a realistic thing. I'm just having fun right now and trying to be in the moment. Who has time to be in the moment?!

Instead of running away, like I do. Or thinking I might be settling, after being single for a lifetime. Allowing myself to open up and to see somebody past the first date or the second date or an orgasm and the size of there penis.

It could all end after the fifth date too and that would be fine because I've come farther with this guy than I have with anyone in else in a really a long time.

And we don't have much time... or maybe we do. But we never know. So, whatever, fuck it. I'm diving in to the deep end.

I hope I can stay afloat.