Heat

The heat here sits somewhere in the middle, comfortably. Running is harder here, rougher terrain, and the heat. It’s not just an exaggeration, it can suffocate you. It’s Friday night, I just cried. I haven’t cried a lot recently, but I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. That’s normal. Nothing for anybody to worry about. I try to tell myself to stop worrying, but for me, I can’t tell myself anything. I have to feel it. I have to sit with it. And sitting with sadness is hard. Change is hard. I’ve been told what I did, what I’m doing, having left all that is familiar is brave. It doesn’t feel brave. It feels a little insane, am I crazy? Mental illness runs in my family.