Wow it's been a while hasn't it?? Sorry for the wait all you faithful readers. Wait, do we have faithful readers? Do we even have READERS? Well, whatever. Sorry Mark for being so negligent of this amazing blog of ours. It has been a crazy month and I just have no explanation of why I haven't been able to post a blog about my amazing life. I know...it has been lonely and sad but I am writing now and that should cease your worrying and sorrow. So...the reason I haven't written? Is because I've had nothing to say. Nothing important. Nothing pertaining to anything worthwhile of reading. Not that I have anything important or worthwhile to say now, I just felt like expressing myself. Sort of. Eh, who am I kidding? I just felt like spewing my thoughts to the ghosts of bloggers past.
So...I work with children grades 1-8 every year for six months out of the year and it is my favorite thing to do. The kids are amazing and I love every one of them (okay, mostly every one of them). Oh COME ON! I can't like everyone! Don't harrass me now. Next year I have been appointed the official director. The main cheese, the MVD as it were. I don't know how I am going to do it. I have nobody to lean on if I lose my confidence and feel like everything is falling apart. I have to stop treating the kids like friends and become increasingly more strict and force them to listen to me. Oh Boy! How is this ever going to work?! I don't know. I am more nervous than I've ever been in my life. I have this overwhelming feeling that it will all fall to pieces once I take over and not only will the show end in a major failure but the program will die along with it. And if that happens, the parents and the kids will be disappointed and I will be the cause of the downfall of the North Kingstown Drama Program. Now, most people are supportive and tell me that I can do it; my mom for one, and Mrs. O'Brien (a mother of two of the girls in the program). And Leah, who has been in the shows since Sound of Music three years ago. But I've gotten comments from others, not mean or anything or negative comments. Just comments that upset me and make my confidence drop a few notches. Some saying that they'll be sad and angry if my mom doesn't do it. And one about how they want to be a director like my mom. When asked "not like me?" the response was "no, like your mom". I know it wasn't meant meanly or against me in any way, but that's the person I am. I take everything personally and take it to mean that I'm not a good director so I can't do it.
It's not their fault. It's mine. I treat them all like friends and am very bad at disciplining. I don't want them to dislike me, I enjoy that they treat me like a friend - it makes me feel good about myself. Yes, it's sad. It takes 11 year olds treating me like a friend to make me feel all happy. But they're great kids. So How in the world do I do this? Oh life.
So...I work with children grades 1-8 every year for six months out of the year and it is my favorite thing to do. The kids are amazing and I love every one of them (okay, mostly every one of them). Oh COME ON! I can't like everyone! Don't harrass me now. Next year I have been appointed the official director. The main cheese, the MVD as it were. I don't know how I am going to do it. I have nobody to lean on if I lose my confidence and feel like everything is falling apart. I have to stop treating the kids like friends and become increasingly more strict and force them to listen to me. Oh Boy! How is this ever going to work?! I don't know. I am more nervous than I've ever been in my life. I have this overwhelming feeling that it will all fall to pieces once I take over and not only will the show end in a major failure but the program will die along with it. And if that happens, the parents and the kids will be disappointed and I will be the cause of the downfall of the North Kingstown Drama Program. Now, most people are supportive and tell me that I can do it; my mom for one, and Mrs. O'Brien (a mother of two of the girls in the program). And Leah, who has been in the shows since Sound of Music three years ago. But I've gotten comments from others, not mean or anything or negative comments. Just comments that upset me and make my confidence drop a few notches. Some saying that they'll be sad and angry if my mom doesn't do it. And one about how they want to be a director like my mom. When asked "not like me?" the response was "no, like your mom". I know it wasn't meant meanly or against me in any way, but that's the person I am. I take everything personally and take it to mean that I'm not a good director so I can't do it.
It's not their fault. It's mine. I treat them all like friends and am very bad at disciplining. I don't want them to dislike me, I enjoy that they treat me like a friend - it makes me feel good about myself. Yes, it's sad. It takes 11 year olds treating me like a friend to make me feel all happy. But they're great kids. So How in the world do I do this? Oh life.
