Scared.

I wish I wasn't so scared. Of everything. But mostly I'm afraid of the unknown, which in my opinion is the worst type of fear. How do you overcome something that you haven't even faced yet, really. That doesn't make any sense but that's how I feel. 

I'm finally doing it, putting my house on the market and selling it. My plan? Move back in with my parents for a year (ugh) to save money. While I am there I plan to do some research looking for jobs in any state besides Rhode Island. Hopefully either Florida or California. I need a change and I need a new job. As much as my current job affords me some perks...working for my dad, extra vacation days etc., I am slowly fading away into oblivion with the stress and unhappiness I feel on a day to day basis working here. The dread of going into work begins the day before and I am drowning. 

Hopefully this change works and I find something I like. But I'm again, scared. I don't know what I want to do. Work in a book publishing company? But books are sadly becoming obsolete. Work at Disney or Universal Studios? But in which department? I miss the days of things being decided for me. 

Simple

Here’s what simple and happy looks like. We are shown this when we are kids. Do you see it? Can you feel it? Sit with it? Hold it? Don't let go, because the older you get the harder it is to recognize it. And when it’s gone it’s more complicated because we are adult, if we are lucky. Maybe we are still kids, battered from the reality of what life is, before it’s ever even fair. What is fair? So you pick up the phone, and you talk to someone who can remind you of who you were before everyone who never mattered told you who you should be.