Can I Leave?

It's Thursday. It's 80 degrees. I just had lunch. Can I leave work? I'm contemplating buying an Ipod. The battery to my Ipod is near death. I want the Ipod Touch. If you're gonna buy an Ipod I think you deserve the best. I know I do. I want to go tonight after work, but I also really want to just be home. This blog isn't very good. Okay, maybe it is. I feel good today. That's a nice change. Not that things aren't bothering me. But that's for another blog.

Reading is damned hard writing

Here I sit, microsoft word open with the straight line just blinking away on the blank white screen taunting me to write a word...a letter even. I tell the humming noise, which is trying to break through the wall surrounding my brain to cause the words to spill onto the keyboard; 'I have nothing to write about, the ideas are stuck inside a deep dark cavern of the writing side of my mind.' The humming doesn't listen. It doesn't understand I have the want, the NEED to write, to create my second novel but just not the words to put that novel together, nor the motivation it takes to sit at the computer and actually think. The blinking line doesn't comprehend that the longer it sits blinking the more I become agitated and my right hand will move to the mouse and move the cursor up to the "x" and shut off that writing program. I don't mean to do it, my arm moves of its own accord.

There's a quote I have on a bookmark of mine written by Ernest Hemmingway I believe, where it says "Reading is Damned Hard Writing," which I put as the title of this blog. Those words can't be truer. While people pick up a book, or short story or poem, they think to themselves that it is simple to write those. Well, I assure you all IT IS NOT! So I sit and stare at the blank screen becomming more and more depressed that not a single thought is coming to me on what in the world to write about. And if that thought comes to me? Well how do I go about writing it...how do I do the research for it? If any of you have any idea. Let me know.

Signed,
Lindsay

Book Club

Lindsay wants to do a book club. She wants to do a book a month. I vote for a book every three months. I'm very lazy.

Who wants to join? Write a comment if you do. I know we have many loyal readers. The details will be posted shortly. There's a rumor I might be in North Kingston this weekend.

Oh I wish...I wish...

What exactly is the point of life? You wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, put your hair the way you want, get dressed and eat breakfast. Then you get in your car and drive to work. While there you go through the hours looking at the clock and wishing the day to end so you can go home, run errands, watch TV, do what you normally do in your daily routine and then go to sleep only to do the same thing over again the next day and the next day, just yearning for the weekend to come where responsibility flies out the window and you can savor the two days of nothingness. And those two days fly by quicker than the week days go. Work is not even one ounce of fun or enjoyment. It is a means to an end; to pay those bills that are burning holes in the mailbox during the month and at the end of the month. So basically you are working a horrible job (not what you went to college for) to pay for a house that you rarely are in and a car that is parked outside of your office building more hours than you are driving it.

So...seriously, what is the point?

eh, I'm not having a very good day :/
Lindsay

It's Spring!

It's spring!
Don't be reading this blog today. Go outside. Fall asleep in the sun. I've almost fallen asleep at work.

Suit suit...

Do you ever just want to escape your life and live that of another; a better life, a more fun and exciting life, a life you dreamed was yours but was out of reach? Well if you answered no, then you are utterly and totally lying to not only me but to yourself. At one point or another in everyones life there comes that moment of "why can't I have that person's life?" So...what do you do? You know what I do?


I play The Sims.


Back way way many centuries ago...not long after the bible began...Okay well not that long ago, maybe about seven or so years ago, a game came out for the computer...a game called "The Sims" it was based slightly on "Sim City" but with people instead of cities and buildings. My brother had gotten it as a gift for some reason or another and him and his friend Jesse were big time into playing it. I sat down with them one day and was immediately hooked. I could make a person and have them live in a house, and have them make money and decorate their dwelling. And I could have them be whoever I wanted them to be. It was amazing. I remember one morning I woke up early (I know...ME? wake up EARLY? HA) and sat down at the computer with Adam and Jesse and we began designing our own houses and people and had them live. Before I knew it it was 1:00 in the morning! Time flew by!!! We had the cheat code for unlimited money so we could make the grandest houses and have the most magnificent furniture and decorations. Don't you wish there were a money cheat code in real life? I sure do! Then a few years later out came "The Sims 2" and it was more complex and even more entertaining. With "The Sims 2" you could have your family grow; instead of back in the original Sims where babies are born and then three days later they magically turned into a child. With Sims 2 the newborns turned into toddlers who then turned into kids and then into teenagers and so on and so on. And not only that but they had the real characteristics and traits of the parents who bore them. AMAZING! With each expansion pack the game became more and more enthralling and I looked forward to playing it all the time. And now, coming up in 2009...


THE SIMS 3!!!!!!!!!!!!


When I looked online and found that out I almost fell on the floor in excitement! Not only does all that happens in Sims 2 stay but now with the Sims 3 you can completely customize every little detail from the furniture and wallpaper matching to the exact characteristics of the people you make...So amazing. And the graphics are incredible. So with the Sims 2 and soon the Sims 3 you can transform yoruself into who you want to be...extroverted, confident, married with kids etc. It is certainly a computer game for life.


goodbye.
Lindsay

Court

I was suppose to be a witness in a trial yesterday. I was suppose to put my hand on the bible and swear to tell the truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth. It didn't happen. But it did get me to thinking about the idea of truth. Everyone has their own version. Who is right? Who is wrong? Life isn't so black and white. You learn that as you grow older. There's this shade of grey. Sometimes the grey is all you see. Sometimes the truth just doesn't sound right. I'm lonely. I'm gay. Sometimes denial is better. Better not only for you, but the people in your life. The truth can take you down. The truth always comes out. The truth can be hard and cold if you try to hide it. But when you confront the truth it becomes your best friend. There's this idea that telling the truth makes you more vulnerable, but it what it really does is make you more human. When you face it you become a more authentic person because you have a strength you never had before. You have a part of yourself you didn't have before. And it's that moment you have to remember the next time the truth gets you down.

The Anti-Fangirl Lament

Have you ever gone to see a broadway show, or a concert? Gone to the stage door afterwards trying to meet your one true hero or inspiration that you have just seen perform live and in living color?? The most amazing night of your life for you have just witnessed true talent right before your eyes and to have the opportunity to actually meet this person is just what you have been dreaming about since you were a wee one...WOW. That would be awesome. Well here's the thing that will make you stop and think - is it even worth it? First you have to stand outside and if it's the middle of winter it's freezing, or if it's raining or snowing, that's a whole other story. And secondly, you have to put up with the screaming obnoxious twelve year olds. These teeny-boppers have a name you know...they are known as "fangirls". What seperates the 'fangirls' from the 'fans' you ask? Well here it is in one fell swoop - the 'fangirls' are CRAZY! Fangirls run screaming with their arms flairing and their eyes all bug eyed dashing towards their favorite actor/actress or someone whom they may think is that person with such gusto and ferver that they cause distress and fear in the person of interest. Fangirls use that high pitched voice and speak in sentences that run into each other and completely take full control over the time they are with said person, so when it comes to the end of the line the 'star' is completely exhausted and less enthusiastic about talking with the rest of their fans. Fangirls chase the star into the car, and possibly even chase the actual car as it drives off. Fangirls cry when they finally meet their idol...they CRY! Ok, so maybe THAT'S not SO horrible. So us fans are put into a category into those of the fangirls and have to deal with the rules the stars put up for themselves in order to protect their well being...the rules such as 'no taking pictures with said person just OF them.' What the fuck is that about? We fans make the star a star and they can't make the time to take a picture with twenty people who have waited an hour in the cold to meet them? Okay, so they're in a hurry, they have to catch a train, or go to dinner with family...but a few extra minutes can't hurt anything. So that's how we deal with being a fan...the fangirls. And we don't want to be the fangirls because of that mentioned above...we kindly sit back and wait for the star to get to us, to be kind and respectful and give them their space so we are not crowding them and not chasing them down...but where does that get us? No autograph, no meet & greet and no picture. And in order to get that, we must become a fangirl, we must look deep inside ourselves and find that inner aggressiveness and take that and run. Knock that star down if it means we can actually get a tiny glimpse! Push that picture into their face to get their name scribbled down however illegible. Okay, so I have to admit, as much as I despise 'fangirls' I have been that person in my life...but I'm happy to say I am totally OVER it. :)

Your fan,
Lindsay

Writer's Block

Why start a blog? Who is really reading this? I think because I use to write and I want to write again. I started writing when I was ten years old. I wrote constantly for seventeen years. I stopped about a year ago. How old am I? You do the math. I was never good at math. I was only ever good at writing - or so I thought. I had struggled and worked for no money in any capacity to gain experience for five years. I was going to be a writer. That might not seem like a long time, but you go that long without a paycheck. It isn't fun. The series of near misses got to me. I spent so long thinking I knew where I was going and then one day I didn't. I got a job that turned out not to be what I had expected and it broke me. Why then? I don't know, but in that moment something crossed over in me. I simply had nothing left to say. I had to put away the pen. The ink had dried up. And with that I lost my identity. What was I suppose to do next? What was I suppose to do for the rest of my life? I had always identified myself as a writer. And then I wasn't. I had lost my identity or any ability to define myself and who am I. Who am I? I'm still trying to figure that out.

BENJAMIN BARKER!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: Previous post (about liking plain burgers) was written by Mark but he misplaced his mind and forgot to sign his name at the end. But it's okay, we all still love him right??? :)

Tim Burton. Johnny Depp. Helena Bonham Carter. Sacha Baron Cohen. Wonderful cast equals amazing movie! Any project with Tim Burton at the helm will prove to end up in a masterpiece film. Each depiction of events he creates - audiences around the world know that it is a Burton film, and they won't even have to see Johnny Depp in the movie to know that, although he most likely will be there. Sleepy Hollow, Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride and Big Fish are just a few of Burton's finest films, but his most recent directorial project, the film based upon the broadway musical "Sweeney Todd" is one of my all time favorites, and that's saying a lot as I am a huge Burton fan! With a cast of such extraordinary talent "Sweeney Todd" was bound to be a huge success. You really can't go wrong with the phenominal actors playing the ever so psychologically damaged souls of Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett.

Johnny Depp pulls out all the stops in this performance as Benjamin Barker / Sweeney Todd, his performance a no holds bar. With such a vast array of work under his belt; in comedy, drama and horror films Depp certainly knows what he is doing, and who would have thought he could sing?? Not many as I have learned. But he shocked us all. The hurt, anger and general outrage towards the cruelty he had experienced shows in everything Sweeney does throughout the movie, and with any other actor it wouldn't have come across as well as Johnny Depp put it out there.

Judge Turpin. The root of all evil! And he's played by none other than Alan Rickman, a notable actor who in my book can do no wrong! He is an amazing actor, an actor who can make me hate him in every way possible but still love him. For those of you who don't know - Alan Rickman plays Severes Snape in the Harry Potter movies - My favorite character, yes I do love those villains. Rickman plays Turpin with every ounce of his soul. Judge Turpin is what is wrong with humanity. He holds the power to do what he pleases and is the cause of Barker's demise into becoming a serial killer.

Shocker of all shocks - Sacha Baron Cohen, otherwise known as Borat played Senor Pirelli, a fellow barber like Sweeney. I've never seen Cohen in anything other than this movie but from what I've seen, he is very talented. His portrayal of Pirelli is remarkable...such humor and a slight tinge of jealousy toward his inspiration shines through his performance.

Helena Bonham Carter. There are not enough words to say about her. She is truly an amazing actor who isn't afraid to just let it all out there. Her performance as Mrs. Lovett is beyond words. Carter brings out the warmth and caring persona found in Mrs. Lovett. It is heart breaking to see how she loves Mr. Todd and how he doesn't return her feelings. For me, Helena Bonham Carter is the true heroine in the film and is what is real and honest and true about what love is; that you would do anything for the person who you love the most. And in this film, anything is ANYTHING. In everything I've seen Carter play she has astonished me in every way. She is brilliant, and has rocketed to the top of my favorite actress list.

What made me laugh about this movie is the "Harry Potter" reunion of actors. Along with Helena Bonham Carter and Alan Rickman the actor who plays Wormtail plays alongside his Harry Potter companion.

If you haven't seen "Sweeney Todd" you should run to Best Buy to purchase a copy RIGHT NOW. And watch it over and over again.

<3>

I Like A Plain Burger

I like burgers. I do. I like them plain. What does that mean? That means without any toppings. So, when I order them I don't need to be asked if that includes lettuce and tomato. I am always asked that, but it's not needed. Why? Because I like it plain. I like to say I am a revolutionary. I still get the confused looks, but in life I am often confused, so I don't judge. Who am I kidding? I judge. Who doesn't judge? It's fun to judge. But that's another topic for another day. I am a picky eater and proud of it. I know there has to be someone else out there who enjoys a plain burger. Speak now! But I'll tell you I enjoy the bun.

I TOLD YOU!!! I DON'T COOK!!!!

So here's the deal. I have a beautiful kitchen in my house with brand new tile floors, brand new cabinets, gorgeous marble countertops and the walls painted a nice color orange with the technique of trashbagging on top of the paint. It is very pretty, one of my favorite rooms in the house. The problem is...I don't cook! I tried to make rice once...RICE. I burned it. How in the world does one burn rice you ask? Well, I don't have an answer. I did exactly as the box said...you know, those boxes that give you exactly what to do, the box of knowledge! Well either the box was defective or the stove was (or maybe it was just me) because it was unedible. It was that moment when I threw away my wooden spoon and replaced it with a remote control and a bullhorn. No way was I ever going to humiliate myself again in front of my friends or family. I would never hear the end of from the rice, nevermind if I tried to cook something as hard as a dish of Macaroni (ok, I'm not that bad...I can make pasta). So I vowed to never again pick up a spatula, stir a cup of soup or even pour a glass of chardonnay. Then I got my own apartment. There was a stove. Oh Boy! What do I do with it? How do I eat? Oh well...I'll just live like I'm stranded on an abandoned island...looking for anything I can eat that doesn't involve that dreaded thing that keeps taunting me with its flames and buttons. So I became a scavenger, eating at my parents house, going to fast food joints around North Kingstown and scarfing down the disgusting fake hamburgers and delicious McDonalds fries and drinking the ever so sugary Diet Coke. Because we all know that drinking DIET coke cancels out the rest of the fatty dinner meat and very salty potatoes shaped like sticks! Then a year and a half later I bought a house and as I mentioned before...a house with a gorgeous kitchen that sadly sits there neglected. I do use the sink, to give Gracie her water in her bowl. And I occasionally use the refrigerator to store those items that are needed for things you actually have to cook...you know, the ketchup, mustard, mayonnaisse (ewwwwwww gross...I do NOT have mayo). The one thing I do like to 'cook' is cereal. YUM ... but that's not cooking so much as it is mixing. hmm...oh well. So what do I do? If any ghost who reads this knows how to cook, can you teach me?? I'd be ever so grateful!!!

Tastefully yours,
Lindsay