So here's the deal. I have a beautiful kitchen in my house with brand new tile floors, brand new cabinets, gorgeous marble countertops and the walls painted a nice color orange with the technique of trashbagging on top of the paint. It is very pretty, one of my favorite rooms in the house. The problem is...I don't cook! I tried to make rice once...RICE. I burned it. How in the world does one burn rice you ask? Well, I don't have an answer. I did exactly as the box said...you know, those boxes that give you exactly what to do, the box of knowledge! Well either the box was defective or the stove was (or maybe it was just me) because it was unedible. It was that moment when I threw away my wooden spoon and replaced it with a remote control and a bullhorn. No way was I ever going to humiliate myself again in front of my friends or family. I would never hear the end of from the rice, nevermind if I tried to cook something as hard as a dish of Macaroni (ok, I'm not that bad...I can make pasta). So I vowed to never again pick up a spatula, stir a cup of soup or even pour a glass of chardonnay. Then I got my own apartment. There was a stove. Oh Boy! What do I do with it? How do I eat? Oh well...I'll just live like I'm stranded on an abandoned island...looking for anything I can eat that doesn't involve that dreaded thing that keeps taunting me with its flames and buttons. So I became a scavenger, eating at my parents house, going to fast food joints around North Kingstown and scarfing down the disgusting fake hamburgers and delicious McDonalds fries and drinking the ever so sugary Diet Coke. Because we all know that drinking DIET coke cancels out the rest of the fatty dinner meat and very salty potatoes shaped like sticks! Then a year and a half later I bought a house and as I mentioned before...a house with a gorgeous kitchen that sadly sits there neglected. I do use the sink, to give Gracie her water in her bowl. And I occasionally use the refrigerator to store those items that are needed for things you actually have to cook...you know, the ketchup, mustard, mayonnaisse (ewwwwwww gross...I do NOT have mayo). The one thing I do like to 'cook' is cereal. YUM ... but that's not cooking so much as it is mixing. hmm...oh well. So what do I do? If any ghost who reads this knows how to cook, can you teach me?? I'd be ever so grateful!!!
Tastefully yours,
Lindsay
1 comment:
lol well i really can't be of much help because i, too, have a kitchen that i do not use for cooking. i use the microwave, but that doesn't count. i was told to get a very basic cookbook and start at the beginning. also, get your mom to teach you how to make some of your favorite meals. i do remember you cooking those special eggs once!
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