I Use To Have a Desk

I use to have a desk. It sat next to the main door of my office building. It was away from the rest of the office. This was a good thing because it was an open office. I had a button next to my desk that opened the door. I got so tired of pressing that button that I just left the door open. It's not like you couldn't just put in the code, but I worked with a small group of hungry, hungry hippos. No, really I did like a few of them. A lot.

But now I no longer have a desk. I was laid off. It was a job that I learned a lot from. But after three years it was time to move on. I kept pushing my last day back. And then I finally stayed firm on what I wanted my last day to be. I took my vacation and returned to work only to be laid off. I got severance. I got recommendations. It was a bumpy road, but I know an office manager is not in my future.

The CEO told my supervisor that Mark needs something 'more special.' I agree and I don't know what that will be. But I'm loving this moment right now. I'm happy, maybe? Excited? Motivated?

Happy, me? Let's just say this is a special moment. Life will work itself out. I believe that.

I now pronounce you...

This past weekend my cousin Ryan and his fiance Julie tied the knot as the saying goes. I was not included in the wedding. Neither was my cousin Haley. We were the only two of Ryan's cousins who weren't involved. I'm not bitter. Much.

There were many times growing up where I didn't feel like part of the family, where my cousins go. Being the only girl for 17 years had its downside, the biggest being all the boys bonded and became like brothers. For a large italian family that is the way it goes. Although, there is one upside, I have 8 guys who would do anything for me, and would protect me if anything bad were to come my way. Back to the feeling left out part...I remember when my brother and I were younger and we were at the Alpine Club (the go to place for all family parties and get-togethers) and my cousins Robert, Ryan, David, Angelo, Andrew and Anthony were all gathered by the door planning to play a game. My brother Adam wanted to play but one of them said "you can't play, this game is just for Nardolillos and you're not a Nardolillo." This upset my brother very much and so I said to them, "yes he is...we both are Nardolillos. Our mom is your dads' sister." They let him play. They would have let me play as well, but I really had no desire to.

The only girl. I had nobody to play with at family get togethers on my mom's side of the family. I hung with the boys but because I was a girl, they really didn't like to play with me. Such is life.

So when I heard that Ryan wanted all of his cousins in the wedding (meaning all his boy cousins) I was a little hurt. Not that I wanted to be part of the wedding it just would have been nice to have been included.

So the church ceremony was at 2:00pm on August 28th and it was a beautiful ceremony. Julie - the bride looked absolutely stunning and her dress was beautiful. When my cousins Rocco (ring-bearer) and Milania (flower girl) walked down the aisle I got a little misty eyed and when Julie came down I cried a little. Ryan looked so handsome in his tux and he seemed so happy.

The reception was in Newport and the entrances of the wedding party was so creative and fun. They all came in dancing. I enjoyed it. Then they played a slideshow of Julie and Ryan as they grew up and then them as a couple followed by pictures and video of them getting ready for the wedding. I'm not going to lie, I was crying like a baby. I was so emotional.

The food was terrible and the drinks too strong. I danced a bit with my cousin Haley and my 2nd cousin Ashley and my Auntie Donna and Uncle Al. Then I left.

As much as I was upset about not being involved, I am so happy for Ryan and Julie and am so proud to consider all of my cousins my family. So Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Ryan and Julie Nardolillo. I love you.