Trust

In my life, I have realized that my biggest issue is trust. I don't trust anyone. Not even myself. 

Surrender

I had to surrender today. I’ve been in Austin almost a year, and I finally got a Texas driver’s license. And they took my New York license. They took the last little bit of my New York life that I held to. It’s looking like I am also going to buy a condo, securing my place in this life, for another few years.

I’ve been back to New York only twice in this last year, but not until today did it all feel real. Really, real. There’s no bitterness or illusion, of what any of this might be. It is what it is. I’ve said that a lot in this last year, as my life has changed shape, color, and size. 

I guess my phone number is still the same. You can still call me. Will you still call me?

A home owner, a business owner, a man with a license, all these things that I do suggest stability. And yet, I feel as though I am floating above it all. 

You can try to escape the story of your life but you can’t. 

It happened.

The career wasn’t a career after all

You had to start it yourself

The heart broke

You had to heal it yourself

You sold the house

A new home had to be built

But it didn’t look like the picture

It never does

You had to love the picture

And the people in it

But the picture broke

The dad went crazy

The broken glass from the frame sent everyone in a different direction

Maybe that was wise?

I hope wise

Mine isn’t the story I would have chosen in the beginning

But I’ll take it

It is my story

It’s only mine