The New Year

I love the holidays. I love the food. I love the music. I love the decorations. I

I love the possibility.

And for some the holidays are sad. I can see that. If the one you loved was gone. If you never had the money you wanted to spend what you wanted to spend. I know some find the music sad.

And as sad as I can be throughout the entire year the holidays make me happy.

I find possibility.

I am always alone. It makes New Years kind of a drag, but I get through it.

I wish I could translate the possibility I have during this time of year throughout the whole year. Everything that bugs me in life doesn't bug me so much during the holidays. And it's never been about a present for me.

It's always been about the possibility. The possibility that I will be okay. That there is still hope for me. That I will find love. That I will love myself. That I will be a good friend one day. That I will be a good writer. That I will be a good person. One day it will happen. The holidays give me that. The colored lights. The smell of pine. The giving.

I've found this year that throughout all my failures I learned to stand up for myself a little more and not be such a push over. That's big for me.

And lets not forget egg nog. I love egg nog. Paula Deen has a great egg nog recipe.