Leaving

You can stay in the same place and still find ways to leave people. In my new apartment I have a city view of downtown. There are so many people in Austin, and I don’t know any of them. It’s lonely. When I was new to New York, at the age of twenty-two, I was comfortable with loneliness. I had sat with it and befriended it, because I didn’t have any friends. And now I sit at thirty-four, alone, with all my friends fifteen hundred miles away. I use to think I hated people, but I just didn’t know better. It is true what they say, everyone always wants to make a connection. And when you make that connection, it changes you. And it’s hard to change back.